My Journey from the Why Factor to Gratitude Magnitude

I’m a person who asks “why?” When I was a little girl, I annoyed my sister with nighttime (and sometimes daytime) questions: “why is sky blue?” or “why is an orange round?” or “why does it have to rain?” She was a few years older than me and couldn’t answer all of my why questions. We shared a bedroom, and she would tell me to go to sleep. 

Decades later, I still tend to ask questions. I joke now that if Google were around I wouldn’t  have asked my sister so many questions. Confession: I still ask questions. I didn’t realize how much until my daughter was playing basketball. We were at a meeting of parents and kids listening to a summer basketball coach explain how the process would work. We were in a gym and everyone sat on the row of risers. The coach opened the meeting for parents to ask questions. After the last question was asked, he offered to answer any outstanding questions. I sat on the top risers, and no one had any other questions, but they turned to look at me, guessing that I had another question. I didn’t have additional questions but it was a funny moment.

Over time, I realized that I have a curious mind and a somewhat unquestionable thirst for knowledge and understanding. During life’s difficult and challenging circumstances, ‘why’ would linger in my mind. While I recognized that why doesn’t have answers, I often had to quell my mind from those thoughts. Seeking solace and strength to understand and cope when life goes awry, I read a few books about gratitude. I have friends who shared that they keep gratitude journals and it helps them in positive ways.

Shifting to Gratitude 

While some people embrace gratitude with easy acceptance, I  had to make a conscientious effort to understand the importance of gratitude. I had to shift my focus and change how I view life’s challenges and expand my thought process to engage in positive thinking. Shifting focus from ourselves to appreciating someone or something gives us the opportunity to express thankfulness for every part of our life. Learning to express appreciation for all aspects of life, both good and bad, in a regular and consistent way is a goal or habit that we aspire to achieve. Gratitude can help people feel happier, more positive, and more compassionate, and can also lead to a number of other benefits.

Gratitude is Intentional

Learning that an attitude of gratitude means making a conscious habit of expressing appreciation on a regular basis for big and small things alike was eye-opening. A friend that keeps a gratitude journal shared that she writes how grateful she is for relationships, health, business, material items, food in our cupboards, her and her overall sense of well-being. Gratitude  can help people feel happier, more positive, and more compassionate, and can also lead to a number of other benefits.

Developing an attitude of gratitude is intentional. It helps to make it a daily habit. Be grateful and thankful for everything you appreciate in life. When we express appreciation, what we appreciate grows and increases in value. Practicing gratitude toward our relationships, work, health, home, and mindset makes these things more important to us. Choose to spend your time and energy on what you are most thankful for.

Having an attitude of gratitude has helped me view situations with a sense of optimism. I strive to look at things with a half-glass full lens and choose to spend my  time and energy on what I’m most thankful for.


Robin Allen is a multi-published author of women’s fiction, romance and YA novels: It Starts With A Promise: A Novel; It’s Complicated: A Novel; The Best Thing Yet; If I Were Your Woman; Breeze and The Starters: Unexpected. As a freelance writer, she have written 40+ articles for national publications, including Hope magazine, Digital Flourish, Today’s Black Woman, Atlanta Woman, Black Elegance and Diversity Careers. www.robinallenbooks.com

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