Ready to Love Again
Upon the recommendation of my best friend, Loraine, I found myself scrolling through Netflix one evening, searching for the romantic comedy Love Again. Knowing she understood my taste and wouldn't recommend a movie I would dislike, I decided to watch it. And I'm glad I did.
The main character of Love Again, Mira, resonated deeply with me. Like her, I had tragically lost my boyfriend before he could propose. After his sudden passing, his best friend handed me the engagement and wedding rings we had chosen together. My journey through grief was filled with anguish, and I had anger towards God for taking away the man I adored. For a while, I questioned how I could mend the pieces of my broken heart, not to find love again but to live without the brokenness and unanswered questions of "how," "why," and "what if"?
While time itself didn't heal my wounds, using it wisely did. Acting on the advice of my dear friend and mentor, Christine, I sought pastoral counseling. This guidance helped me realize that, although my boyfriend passed, I remained, still living with a future and purpose beyond the pain I had endured. But I also learned that moving on meant silencing outside voices and opinions. What was best for my healing journey was unique to me. This realization led me to host a therapeutic celebration in my backyard with Loraine, part ways with the engagement and wedding rings, and walk away from the business my late boyfriend and I were building together.
With these healing strides, I started contemplating loving someone again. Yet, returning to the dating scene after a five-year hiatus unearthed insecurities I had to heal, a tongue that needed tempering, and pride that required overcoming. The ultimate revelation was that more inner work was necessary, not solely for a healthy relationship, but for my wholeness, happiness, and fulfillment of my God-given purpose and dreams. Now, I find myself at a place of readiness—not perfection, but readiness. I am prepared to love again. The journey has been difficult, vulnerable, and at times uncomfortable. Still, it was worthwhile.
While Love Again is a work of fiction, it mirrors the reality of many women who have experienced loss, trauma, and heartbreak. At times, these hardships cause us to set love aside. However, it also reminds us of an incredible truth: if we open ourselves up to healing, we can emerge ready to love again despite all we have endured.
Novia Reid, Ph.D., LCSW, CCTP, is a psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Just You and I Devotions from the Heart and Woman This Is for You. She founded Regain Your Core™️, a coaching program to help women who have lost themselves from traumas, setbacks, and heartbreaks regain their identities. To learn more about her and her work, please visit www.noviareid.com.