How Life Has Taught Moms to Put Ourselves First
Moms are unsung heroes. They get little recognition outside of Mother’s Day, otherwise laboring behind the scenes to create everyday magic. However, sometimes life demands that they put themselves first.
You’ve heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty pitcher.” Moms may seem like superwomen, but they’re human with the same wants and needs everyone shares. When their supplies run low, it affects those they love. It’s time to recognize how life has taught moms to put themselves first.
why moms need to take care of themselves
There’s little doubt that women had a more difficult experience during the recent pandemic. Although millions fell into poverty, it hit women and children the hardest. Women were 2.4 times more likely to report missing paid work to care for others, and female-led businesses closed more often. Even before the pandemic, however, women have had similar experiences. Why?
women and men still work differently
One reason the pandemic hit women harder is because they are more likely to work in the informal, domestic economy, which saw more frequent shutdowns. Restaurants and hotels fell below normal capacity, and families with nannies changed their minds about having others in their homes.
Another difference? Much of women's work is unpaid. Women do more than twice as much unpaid labor daily than men. They aren’t compensated for cleaning their homes, making meals or keeping the kids safe and healthy.
the importance of balancing home and career
Another reason the pandemic impacted women more than men is soaring childcare costs. Despite strides in equality, women still do a disproportionate percentage of child-rearing.
Even women who work full-time still do most of the parenting and housework. While societal pressure might make women feel like they need to do everything, they shouldn’t have to. Not only is it stressful, but it can lead to burnout and dysfunction in your home.
For example, when you have to help kids with homework, do laundry and cook dinner, you may not have time to clean the house. Cleaning not only makes your home more visually appealing, but it reduces bacteria and allergens that could make your family sick. Instead of pushing yourself to do it all, tell your partner to step up, or hire help if you’re able. Don’t feel ashamed to delegate and lighten your load.
what really matters
The burden affects women’s mental health. It causes them to miss out on precious moments as their children grow so quickly. Mere physical presence isn’t enough — it takes spending mindful time with your children to nurture their development and savor the miracle of life.
Women often blame themselves when they fail to do it all, forgetting that nobody can. Regular mindfulness, where you focus on what matters most, can help, preventing you from getting so caught up in the daily mundane that you miss the magic that is life.
can moms putting themselves first transform the world?
Most moms experience stress, depression and anxiety from the unrealistic expectations put on them. We work, take care of our families, run our households and more, often without enough help.
Relieving the pressure on women and moms can improve the world in so many ways. Families can have a better and healthier dynamic if work is divided up fairly, which can relieve stress for everyone and prevent fights or separations.
Women are also indispensable in the workplace. Lifting some of the pressure at home can help them have the energy to excel in their careers and really change the world.
moms, life teaches you to put yourself first
The pandemic drove home several truths. One is the importance of moms putting themselves first. Doing so lets them be present for their children, and a collective redirection of energy toward what matters could save the world.
Cora Gold is the Editor-in-Chief of women’s lifestyle magazine, Revivalist. She has a passion for writing about ways to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life, especially for new moms.