The Year of YES: Freeing Yourself to Try Something New
Shonda Rhimes has always been one of my favorite people since she came on the scene with the show Grey’s Anatomy. She was someone I viewed as a strong African American woman who was changing the television game with her writing, producing, and directing. So, when she authored the book, Year of Yes, her memoir detailing her stepping out of her comfort zone and saying yes to adventures and opportunities that she would normally decline. She described how she previously lived a life avoiding things that caused her fear, panic, and anxiety, but a simple comment during a holiday gathering prompted her to make a change. A change that opened her up to exploring life, empowering herself, and increasing self-love. Shonda shared about the various new experiences, such as interviews and speaking engagements, that she accepted and what she learned.
While I was reading this memoir, I found myself wondering what I was saying no to and what I would gain by saying yes. I thought about what I was afraid of and to what extent it was holding me back. After reading how much Shonda grew from this year-long experience, I decided I needed to live my own year of yes. The first thing I did was journal/keep a log. I started journaling about what I hoped to learn and hoped to overcome during this journey. I wanted to challenge myself to be a bigger voice in the mental health field. I asked myself what my fears are. I realized that one big fear was public speaking. I worried if people would think I knew what I was talking about. I wondered if I had anything to share, anything to say.
My first YES came quickly. I received an invitation from a friend asking me to speak on her podcast and talk about mental health and self-care. I made sure I was prepared and steadied my nerves by talking to peers and listening to podcasts for tips. I completed the first engagement and booked another with a guest who was listening that night. That first podcast experience opened a new venue for educating about mental health. It gave me the opportunity to meet different people and in various locations. My personal gain was I dealt with my fear of public speaking. I felt empowered as an expert in my field. This one speaking engagement empowered me to go forward with other speaking engagements including more podcasts, speaking at a conference (in front of over three hundred people), and participating in panel discussions regarding mental health, domestic violence, self-care, and intergenerational trauma. This has led to me being seen as an expert in the mental health field. It has allowed me to meet new people. It has also allowed me to have an additional stream of income.
It is important for me to say that not all my YESES were professional/work related. In the year, I agreed to take Latin dance classes at the encouragement of a friend and my desire to learn about a culture different than mine. Now, I have rhythm and love to dance but Latin dance was a bit of a challenge for me. During the classes, we learned a little more about Latin culture, what the dances meant, and why each step/movement was important to the story being told through the dance.
Although I was not the best at Flamenco dance, I had a ball. I may have been turning in the opposite direction of my classmates, but I felt FIERCE. I connected with my body and felt strong. I felt beautiful. I felt courageous and brave for tackling something new. I was also proud of myself for keeping up with students younger than myself.
There were many more yeses that year. As I continued with my year of yes, I found the journey to be exciting. I met new people, learned new things, and traveled to various places. I opened myself to new possibilities. Most importantly, I was free to be me and love me just as I am.
So, what are you going to do in your year of yes?
Erika Brooks is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor in the state of Virginia. She received her Masters of Science in Rehabilitation Counseling from Virginia Commonwealth University. She is the owner of Enlightenment Counseling Services, LLC. She is also a co-author of PEARL: Wisdom and Advice for Emerging Leaders. Contact her are brookslpc@gmail.com