The Power of Asking: Lessons from My Journey
I’ve let you all into so many secret spaces in my heart over these past weeks, and today, I want to talk about something else I struggled with for a long time: knowing how to ask.
Even the Bible says, "Let your requests be known" and "You have not because you ask not." But for a long time, I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted or needed because deep down, I didn’t believe I deserved it. I’d convinced myself that I should be grateful for whatever small amount I received, and that asking for more was somehow wrong.
For example, I remember offering an ad package that was worth $10,000, but when someone gave me $1500, I thought, “Well, that’s good enough. I can pay a bill, get some gas, or buy groceries.” Sad, right? I had one account that lasted me all year because I couldn’t imagine having 100 accounts that paid more than $25,000 annually. That kind of success felt so far beyond my wildest dreams.
I remember my first $1,500 ad deal. I was so excited, I felt like I had hit the jackpot. But before I even cashed the check, the money was already spent. I’ll forever be grateful to Jen, from one of the publishing houses, who believed in me and gave me that first break. But in hindsight, I see that my joy came from a place of smallness — a belief that I should be grateful for whatever crumbs fell my way.
Here I am, nearly 20 years later, after therapy, self-reflection, and much-needed love for myself, and I can confidently say: “I deserve million-dollar accounts. I deserve the best clients who value what I bring to the table.” I no longer accept anything less than what I’m worth.
Here’s what I’ve learned
Ask Boldly Because You Deserve It
I used to think I should be happy with a little. Now I know that I deserve the best. There’s nothing wrong with asking for what you’re worth. You are worthy of abundance, not scarcity. The world responds when you know your value and ask for what you truly deserve.
Don’t Be Afraid to Set High Standards
Set the bar high for yourself and your business. Don’t accept less because you’re afraid it’s “too much.” If you believe in the value of what you’re offering, others will see it too. Never settle for less than your worth.
Your Mindset Shapes Your Reality
For years, I limited myself because I couldn’t imagine bigger possibilities. But now I know that the only limits are the ones I set for myself. Shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance, and watch how your reality changes.
Gratitude and Growth Can Coexist
I’m still grateful for those early breaks, but I’ve also learned that it’s okay to want more. Being thankful for what you have doesn’t mean you can’t strive for greater. Gratitude is powerful, but so is growth.
You Are Worth Investing In
Whether it’s clients, partners, or even yourself, believe that you are worth investing in. You are worthy of those $1 million accounts. You are worthy of clients who see your value and are willing to pay what you deserve.
Advice to My Younger Self and to You
Looking back, I wish I could tell myself, “You are worth so much more than you’re asking for.” And that’s what I want to tell you today. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you’re worth. Set your standards, set the bar high, and don’t settle for less. There is value in what you offer, and the right people will recognize that.
Whatever you’re chasing — whether it’s your dream job, a new business venture, or financial stability — remember that you are worth every bit of it and more. Believe in yourself, and don’t hesitate to ask for what you deserve. The world is waiting to give it to you.
Go get it, girl!