The Cost of Chasing a Dream: Lessons Learned About Financial Responsibility
I used to think that if I just invested in my dream — if I just kept pushing and made sure everyone around me was taken care of — success would eventually come. What I didn’t realize was how much I was sacrificing along the way, especially when it came to my own financial well-being.
In the early days of Hope, I found myself constantly prioritizing paying vendors over paying my own bills. I thought, “If I can just keep everyone happy, the business will thrive, and everything will work itself out.” But that wasn’t the case. Every time I paid a vendor, I was pushing my own financial responsibilities aside — rent, utilities, food, everything. I believed that by putting the business first, I was investing in the future. But in reality, I was digging myself deeper into a financial hole.
Then came the personal loans. Desperate to keep things afloat, I started taking out loans — loans with high interest rates that promised quick fixes but left me in even more debt. At first, it felt like relief, but as those interest rates climbed, I realized I was only making things worse. I was borrowing money just to pay off other debt, and the cycle seemed endless. Instead of helping me move forward, these loans trapped me, leaving me constantly scrambling to catch up.
And when I couldn’t make ends meet through loans, I started borrowing from friends and family. At first, it felt like a temporary solution — a way to keep the dream alive until I “made it.” But the more I borrowed, the more uncomfortable it became. Each time I reached out, it felt harder to ask, and there were times when I couldn’t repay them on time. That created tension, and often, when the business relationships severed, I found myself with nothing left — no financial security, no personal connections, and no business growth to show for all the effort.
Looking back, I realize that I was operating from a place of fear and desperation rather than sound financial planning. I was so focused on making the dream work, on keeping everyone happy, that I didn’t realize I was setting myself up for failure. I was trying to build a business on shaky ground, constantly borrowing from my future to keep up appearances in the present.
Here’s What I’ve Learned
You Can’t Sacrifice Yourself for Your Dream
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if you just keep everyone else happy — vendors, clients, team members — your business will thrive. But if you aren’t taking care of your own financial health, you’re building something that will eventually collapse.
Debt is Not a Quick Fix
Taking out high-interest loans can feel like a lifeline when you’re desperate, but they come with a cost. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up in more debt than you started with, and the burden of those payments can quickly become overwhelming.
Borrowing from Friends and Family is Risky
When you borrow money from loved ones, you’re not just risking your finances — you’re risking those relationships. It’s hard to ask for help once, but it’s even harder when you find yourself asking again and again, knowing you might not be able to pay them back on time.
Business Relationships Aren’t Always Built to Last
I learned the hard way that when a business relationship ends, it often leaves you with nothing. There were times I poured everything into these partnerships, only to have them fall apart, leaving me financially and emotionally drained.
Moving Forward with Financial Clarity
As I look back, I can see that my decisions came from a place of wanting to keep everything together — my business, my reputation, my relationships. But I wasn’t operating from a place of stability. I was operating from fear, always worried about what would happen if I couldn’t keep up. What I’ve learned since then is that you can’t build a lasting business if you’re constantly sacrificing your own financial health.
It took time, but I’ve shifted my approach. Now, I focus on sustainable growth, where I manage my finances responsibly, even if it means moving slower. I’ve learned to work with people who understand my journey and are willing to grow with me, not at my expense. I’ve stopped taking unnecessary loans, and I’ve learned to protect my personal relationships by not involving them in my financial struggles.
If you’re in a similar place — feeling like you’re sacrificing too much, taking on too much debt, or constantly borrowing — know that there’s a better way. You don’t have to lose yourself in the process of chasing a dream. Your financial health is just as important as your vision. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow.