Reborn: Reclaiming My Personal Power With Robin Allen
I was a popular author in the 2000’s during the height of the Black romance era. At the time, I was married and raising my two young daughters, working a 9-5 job in communications and writing articles for national publications.
I wrote books in the wee hours of the morning. It was my creative escape that gave me joy and hope that my book might become a movie.
I wrote no matter what was happening in my life
When my marriage became difficult, I wrote. When I didn’t know how I was going to pay my mortgage, I wrote.
When my daughters were young, I would read them a story and lay beside them until they fell asleep. At 11 PM, I would go into my office and write.
My life changed and I divorced my husband. I still wrote at night.
I became “super mom”—with an “S” on my chest—dedicated to raising two beautiful, strong and smart young women with no regrets.
I still wrote.
Suddenly, my ideas for books were trapped inside my head.
One day, I stopped writing
Something insidiously destructive happened. I stopped writing. My passion for writing disappeared.
Writing was my sun and the staircase to my dreams. Langston Hughes’ poem, “Mother to Son” states, ‘Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair...tacks and splinters.’ My spin: life had become a series of setbacks that were difficult to overcome. Shards of invisible glass had penetrated my soul with darkness.
I was bleeding inside and didn’t know.
I struggled to get my daughters through college. I was their sole financial provider. More setbacks and difficulties.
I stopped writing and I knew something was wrong.
The combination of menopause, loneliness and rejections were shards of glass I couldn’t shake. What hurt the most: my daughters seeing me without that “S” on my chest.
Writing centered, strengthened and empowered me. It was the core of my dreams and the validation of my identity. It is my gift from God.
When I no longer felt that gift pulsating inside, I felt lost. I wondered: where did I go? Where did the thrill of writing a book go?
I was lost in the dark abyss in my mind. I had to fight my way out.
Reigniting the light of my soul
I reclaimed me: the writer and dreamer. I need the ray of hope, the sun inside my soul and the audacity of bold dreams to breathe… believe… and elevate.
My circumstances did not dramatically change, but I had to eliminate the darkness from my mind to rekindle the light of my soul and find the yellow brick road that ignites imagination.
I began to write again. I started working on a book that energized my soul.
Sometimes I had to force myself to write.
That was a dramatic difference: for years and regardless of circumstances, I never forced myself to write. My writing passion guided me.
I forced myself to write to re-ignite my internal flame. Sometimes I prayed before writing. Sometimes I played music. Sometimes I set goals: complete a page, scene or chapter.
It took about six months before I did not have to force myself to write. I fell in love with my characters and the story. I could feel my characters ‘calling me.’ I embraced writing.
I began to feel better. I felt my passion. I felt the fire of my soul.
I reclaimed myself. This Robin Allen has evolved and views life differently. My years-long dreams about my books becoming a movie or TV series have not disappeared. There are now streaming opportunities for series and movies. I have a wealth of book content and screenplays on my laptops.
This Robin Allen feels the beauty of her soul. This Robin Allen is discovering new things about herself. I disappeared for a while.
But I’m back…
I love writing and exploring new ways to tell stories… it is the song of my life.
I’m never going back there
I refuse to return to that abyss. I have strength to thwart wrecking balls. I’m careful about the people I allow in my life. My mind is focused on the positive and a future that shines bright.
I thank God for giving me the strength to escape from darkness. I have my writing passion back. The glow of self-belief is beautiful and contagious. It’s an empowering feeling to be focused about turning goals into reality. Look out: here I come!
I’m republishing some of my books. Look for It’s Complicated, and the series It Starts With a Promise, It Continues with a Secret and It Ends with a Revelation (2023 & 2024). I also plan to publish new books.
I’m writing.
I’m dreaming.
I’m Robin Allen reborn
Robin Allen is an author of six novels, freelance writer and has 20+ corporate communications experience and has a BA degree. She lives in Atlanta, GA.