How to Teach Your Children to Practice Forgiveness
Misunderstandings are common among kids, but how well can your child forgive others for making mistakes? Emotional regulation through genuine forgiveness is a critical skill parents can teach their young ones. Learn the five ways to instill positive traits in your child by letting go of their resentment.
Importance of forgiveness for children
Holding on to grudges can harm health. It can increase stress levels that physically manifest into weakened immunity, inflammation and heart problems. The impact on children is even more debilitating. They lack stress-coping skills, making them more vulnerable to the adverse consequences of ruminating on past distress and pain.
According to experts, forgiveness positively affects happiness as well as spiritual and subjective well-being. Those who can easily forgive are psychologically prosperous. Teaching your young one how to forgive is the first step in empowering and equipping them with emotional regulation skills. In essence, it's part of self-care.
How to teach your children forgiveness
Negative feelings consume your child with self-doubt, reducing their self-esteem and making it harder to cope with challenges. Forgiveness is just like positive affirmations that can help enhance their emotional healing, promote their self-worth and shift their mindset toward a more empathetic perspective. Here's how you can impart the skill.
Set a good example
Your kid copies what you do, so the best way to teach forgiveness is by showing examples in everyday situations. Verbal acknowledgments like saying "I'm sorry" when you’re wrong or responding "It's OK" to someone who has offended you is the first step to learning.
Forgive, but don't forget
Some misinterpret forgiveness as condoning the other kid's misconduct — but that’s not how it should be. Pardoning someone doesn't mean your child should ignore and forget everything, as it only gives others a license to commit the same mistakes. They must learn that real forgiveness is letting go of negative emotions and prohibiting the same thing from happening again.
Explore the situation and the person
Mistakes are sometimes made deliberately — and other times not. The latter can happen because of misunderstandings or a child's lack of self-expression ability. As they grow and learn, they may behave disrespectfully and inadvertently hurt others through their words or actions. Exploring others' perspectives and understanding where they're coming from helps teach your child forgiveness, empathy and respect.
Encourage communication
Speaking of self-expression, one core value your young one must develop early is how to represent themselves. They're their own advocates, so teaching them how to effectively convey their feelings and thoughts in a manner others understand should be one of the foundations of their education. Conflicts are resolved promptly with open communication, promoting an environment that encourages forgiveness by choice.
Use storytelling and role-playing
Kids lack analytical skills, so straightforward conversations may be inadequate when getting an idea across. Effective parents are great storytellers and actors. They can whip up stories on the spot — one with lessons that apply to the present scenario — and use real-life examples to illustrate their point. This way, kids deeply comprehend why it's necessary to forgive and what steps they should take next.
Forgiving others should be a choice
Letting go of negative emotions — and not forgetting the damage done — is the real essence of forgiveness. Ensure your young one understands that saying "It's fine" after someone hurts them doesn't mean they condone or overlook the other's misdemeanor. Teach your child how to forgive, but do it in a way that doesn't make them feel powerless.
Cora Gold is the Editor-in-Chief of women’s lifestyle magazine, Revivalist. She has a passion for writing about ways to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life, especially for new moms.