A Redefined Friendship With My Ex: Is It Unusual?
Fleeting relationships, broken friendships, circumstantial breakups… Everything that once bloomed a meaningful start seems to come to an end. We often have the tendency to think about such long gone days, especially when we are vulnerable and have the urge to revisit relationships with people who were never good for us. Having said that, what's wrong with reconnecting with your ex or former casual friend who you haven't spoken to in a while?
Every time a relationship ends, the anxiety kicks in with the thought, "I hope we still can be friends.” However, in most cases, both parties know they need time to heal and come back stronger. In time it is possible to redefine friendship with an ex who we would have otherwise bemoaned or loathed for years or even life. I remember telling my girlies about being friends with my ex and I was welcomed by more gasps than relief. Instantly, I blurted out, "What's wrong with that?" We had been broken up longer than the time we were together, and he got married and has two beautiful kids and I am living my life independently in a foreign land.
If we are ready to accept the Generation Z's concept of "friends with benefits" or "platonic relationships", why can't we go about and reformulate a new relationship with someone we've spent hours and hours, day and night with? We can't be oblivious to someone’s existence after we've shared and spent a significant amount of our life and time with. This isn't "psychopathy", it's maturity, mutual understanding and good judgement of character.
As a society, we still question the couples who'd parted ways and then suddenly are seen hanging out with each other out of nowhere. Let's not forget the comments made by our close ones: "How are you still talking to him?", "Do you have self-respect?", "Do you still miss him?", "Is your current boyfriend aware of your friendship?"
Surprisingly, we're more delighted when we read about celebrity couples parting ways or reconnecting together for the sake of their children, and we take absolute pride in that with the words "they are mature and open", yet we don't want to accept the change.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon remained cordial for their fraternal twins ever since their split in 2014. Later, both thought of their kids' happiness, and continued with undisputed friendship where Nick believes that "we coexist for the betterment of our children."
Maintaining a well-balanced friendship is hard especially when the other person broke your heart, but deep down we still believe that a good ex will never go about not acknowledging what went wrong and what could have been set right. We still secretly want to be friends with the ex who accept mistakes wholeheartedly.
Rashi Agarwal is a freelance journalist who has worked with Daily Express and LBC in the past. She loves to write about lifestyle, relationships, home, family, food and many other beats. You can follow her on Twitter @Rashi_2208